REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD
by bee3
Summary: pink-ness, fluffy-ness and rabbits... okay replace rabbits and fluffiness with brutal violence directed at wufei and gay undertones and you have the right picture...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: me no own them....simple enough for you?  
  
  
well well well................ you all seem to want a sequel so i thought i'd give you one ok? now everybody go thank Raine Yuy by reviewing her because she e-mails me and tells me to keep working as does Gypsy Tollamer so go review her too!  
  
  
  
  
It had been a month since the incriminating photos had been taken by bee. The ones she had taken on her second trip to Quatres Mansion had been printed as poster size and now decorated the offices where they worked, the one of Wufei being attacked by a small puppy taking pride of place over the mantel piece.  
  
and now it was Holiday time! After their "traumatic" experience with the pilots the girls thought they deserved a well earned break, and a chance to apologise to bee who STILL wasn't talking to them over the tooth fairy inncident. Although she had said something about Wufei having panda eyes............ but they put that down to emotional stress (i mean come on! imagine waking up to the person you HATE and finding them in bed next to you and your dressed in an angel outfit....yeah embarassing? mortifying? a VERY GOOD reason not to talk to your friends for a month after it? i thought so too)  
  
So they were all headed to Sunny old England to house sit for a friend off bee's. Okay its not a house its a mansion..... but they'll have a damn good time anyway! ^_^.  
  
'bee' whined Gypsy 'Are we there yet?'  
  
'Soon'  
  
'Can we stop and get out for a bit?' asked Raine  
  
'Soon'  
  
'Can we atleast have the radio on?' said Link  
  
'Soon'  
  
'Shall we all go and jump off a cliff so we can die?' said Akurei testing out a theory  
  
'Soon'  
  
'Well she's on auto pilot' sighed Akurei as she reached over and put the radio on for Link 'Has she actually told any of you lot where we are going?' There was a chorus of dissassent.  
  
'We thought you knew?' Raine added  
  
'Ah, so lemme get this straight The one person who knows where we are going is bee?'  
  
'Yes, rather obviously' replied Gypsy  
  
'The very same person who is extremley angry at us for putting her in an angel costume, knocking her unconcious and leaving her in the same bed as Wufei?'  
  
'Oh yeah......that' mumbled Link looking guilty  
  
'we are fucked' Raine stated sitting back and crossing her arms, she stared moodily out of the window 'Who picked England to come to anyway?' bee began to smile   
  
'Yeah its raining AGAIN!'   
  
'Oh GYpsy look at the bright side' suggested link  
  
'What bright side? there is no bright side? we're stuck in a jeep with some one who's out to kill us....tell me where is the brightside?'  
  
'Well the pilots and the Rabbid Rabbit(1) dropped the court case against us and i don't think bee really wants revenge i think she just wants to...' Link was cut off as bee said  
  
'We're here' they looked out of the rain splattered windows at possibly one of the creepiest mansions ever.... and the occasional lightning stike behind the house just seemed to add to the creepy potential for any authoress who has had no sleep and wants to use every cliche in the book.  
  
'It looks.......nice?' murmered Raine her eyes very wide  
  
'Well lets go inside shall we?' smiled bee before getting out of the car and wondering off into the shadowed porch.  
  
  
OLAY OLAY OLAY OLAY!!!! ^_^ IT'S HALF TERM WHOO HOOOO! I AM FREE FOR ONE WHOLE WEEK! AND IN THIS WEEK I PROMISE TO WRITE PART 6 OF THE LAPTOP AND GET OUT ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THIS AND THE STARGATE STORY! ^_^ can i have five reviews for me to continue? 


	2. hi ho hi ho its off to england we go

Disclaimer: me no own you no sue, comprende?  
  
  
  
Lalalalalala its easter which means chocolate which means hyperness which means crazy stories! ^_^ ok on with the fic  
  
  
bee opened the door and switched on the lights. The other authors sprinted from the car trying to stay as dry as possibe. Their jaws dropped at teh niceness of the house  
  
'I'm going for a swim is anyone else coming?' smiled bee  
  
'ermm we'll pass for now see you in the morning?' said Gypsy  
  
'Okies!' was the reply as a very happy looking slightly psychotic author ran downstairs to the basement.  
  
'Being back home must really agree with her' commented Raine as a few seconds later they heard a "whoop" sound followed by a splash  
  
'I'm guessing she just jumped in the pool with all her clothes on' added Link as the rest of them sweatdropped.  
  
'Sooo who's up for a game of stay away from the crazy lady?' asked Akurei  
  
'Yup'  
  
'Sure'  
  
'Count me in' came the replies as some more splashing sounds and a scream of "GOD I LOVE ENGLAND" drifted up the stairs.  
  
  
######################################  
  
the gundams boys had plotted their revenge well and were currently flying to england in one of Quatres private jets, after resting and spending a weekend at the local health spa of course.  
  
'Quat-man?' said Duo lazily watching the sun go down from the window nearest him  
  
'Yes Duo?'  
  
'How did you know where they were going?'  
  
'Ummm, my spaceheart told me'  
  
'okay' and Duo edged a little further away from Quatre. Over on the other side of the jet Trowa and Wufei were playing chess while Heero watched, swilling a plass of port in his hand. Trowa blinked at the appearance of the port and stared at Heero  
  
'.....why?....'  
  
'Because i don't want to be sober when i do this' came the reply  
  
'...oh.......will you pass me some too then please?'  
  
'mission accepted' and so the Heavyarms pilot and the wing zero pilot were getting happily trashed on an extremly good vintage of Quatres best port while Wufei looked on.  
  
#######################################  
  
The girls had found their rooms and were extremly happy withe the arrangement which meant bee had to be on the floor above them. The only things that freaked them out now were (an: takes a deep breathe) Creaky floor boards, pipes clanging, white see through linen curtains ( the kind that billow) weird noises that were apparently "the house cooling down" and the way everyone had a balcony.....  
  
'But this is ENGLAND!' Raine shouted at Akurei for the fith time 'nothing ever happens in England!'  
  
'I don't care i am NOT sleeping on my own' (AN:THIS IS NOT A HENTAI! get your minds out of the gutters!)  
  
'Yes you are'   
  
'Fine' sulked Akurei 'I'll go ask Gypsy, she'll let me' she stuck her tounge out at Raine and bounced of down the corridor. Poor Raine if only she knew that their were legends in the surrounding countryside about strange men popping up and leading away horses into mountains then she would have let Akurei sleep in her room. But she didn't know, So she was going to have a long night of peaceful sleep.  
  
####################################  
  
The jet landed at Manchester airport and the five pilots walked off, well three walked off the other two staggered off and tripped on the stairs. They got into an awaiting car and pulled off to the nearest Winner residence of Chatsworth hall(1) listening to the melodius sounds of Heero and Trowa singing army songs with naughty words in.  
  
  
  
  
  
well how was it?  
(1) Okay for those of you who are wondering Yes Chatsworth house is a real place its in the cheshire area and is very nice, very wealthy looking and very grand. Just the kind of house you'd expect the Winner family to own, and HEY! it is what...202 ac? i don't know the date bear with me and i'll find it eventually.   
  
oh look at teh button! press it and see what happens ^_^ (another lame attemptt to get reviews) at least four for another chapter please? 


	3. whipped cream and tequlia what fun!

Disclaimer: me own them? nah your dillusional  
  
i do not own the game i've never and whoever wrote that wicked g-wing story about it is amazing i love them ! ^_^,............btw....who has me on favourite author? ^^; i just wanna know cos i am a curious person  
  
  
~#~# THERE IS A NASTYNESS TOWARDS FISH AT THE END OF THIS! NO FISH WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS FIC!!!~#~#  
  
  
  
  
It was a dark and stormy night....Oops wrong story, well it was in a sense a dark and stormy night and in two houses seven people slept. The gundam pilots Trowa and Heero were drowning their sorrows...well they had had to make some more sorrows up after a while and began to throw vases every where, and in teh other house bee was still in the swimming pool, doing what we may never know.  
  
okay okay she was seeing how long she could hold her breath.... so nothing really mind blowingly interesting. Akurei and Link were sleeping on Gypsy's bedroom floor, and Raine was passed out fully clothed on her bed clutching a bottle of Lambrini (AN: cos lambrini girls just wanna have fun! insert fake giggle here 


	4. tequlia part deu...i hate my comp...

In the pilots house Trowa and Heero had begun a game of I've never Heero was in the lead, when Trowa suddenly swapped the rules and made it into truth, dare or drink....Heero (being the perfect soldier(1) of course took dare. ten minutes later he was dressed in black leather and walking towards the authoresses house with trowa clutching two bottles of tequila a peice.  
  
'Heeroo' slurred Trowa and began to giggle when he shuddered  
  
'You sounded just like Relena' Heero comented as he fell in the hedge and sat there for a while looking upwards, then he took another swig of tequlia and began to move on.  
  
'Heeerrooooooooo'more giggles ' come and kill meeeeee' then the usually quiet heavyarms pilot fell into a ditch and couldn't get up because he was laughing too hard. By the time they had gotten to the mostly sleeping house they had managed to drink a bottle between them for , as Trowa put it, Dutch courage, Although Trowa wasn't actually going to do anything.  
  
They both crouched by the back door which was suprisingly unlocked and staggard past eth basement door from which splashes and cries of "PIKACHU I CHOOSE YOU" could be heard.   
  
Ignoring the shouts they made their *merry* way to the kitchen and raided the fridge until they found what they were looking for......Whipped cream.  
  
'Mhhhhh creamy' grinned Heero waving the can around. Trowa seemed more intrested in the nail varnish that was in their and was complaining to heero that you couldn't eat it.  
  
After Trowa had finished his 5 min rant on the uselessness of nail varnish and had poured it into the fish tank, both pilots crawled up the stairs and finished off another bottle before bursting into Raines room where she was sleeping like a baby and giving her santa claus hair and beard complete with eyebrows that would make Dorothy jealous.  
  
still giggling the pilots raided Raines suitcase (avoiding her underwear They aren't perverts you know!) and each wore one of her dresses before running out of the room and house and back to the Winner mansion to go to bed, still in the dresses.  
  
Both pilots woke up in the morning passed out in the bath dressed in black and blue dresses and each holding a bottle of Tequila.....did i forget to mention the banging headaches and nausea which usually acompany a hang over?  
  
################################  
  
four authoresses woke to an ear splitting scream. Raine had woken up and had found a creamy white dairy product smeared all over her hair and face and her suitcase (still packed from the night before) looked like it had exploded and two of her favourite dresses were missing.....  
  
bee walked down stairs and screamed a scream to match Raines....  
'WHO KILLED THE GOLD FISH!!!!!!?????????????????????????????' and then collapsed into a sobbing heap mummuring the names bubbles and goldy over and over until Link slapped her.  
  
'You know what this means don't you?' said a very graved faced Akurei  
  
'That this is war?' asked a hopefull Raine  
  
'That there are fish murderers on the loose?' asked a still sniffling bee  
  
'That we aren't going to have breakfast?' offered Link  
  
'No!' sighed Akurei 'That the Gundam pilots have followed us here!'  
  
a collective Ohhhh! came from the others as they stared at the now empty fish tank...  
  
'Gypsy? where did you bury the fish?' asked bee wiping away the last of her tears  
  
'I was meant to bury them?!? i thought you said to throw them away?'   
  
a scream of 'GYPSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!' rang out across the country side at a level that would rival Relena's and added to a certain pairs hang overs.  
  
  
  
(1) Too me Heero seems the type of guy who would do a dare like that especially when drunk because he would want to seem like the perfect soldier even more....i am working on the dating of this i promise!  
  
AND IT WASN'T MY FALUT! sorry about this stupid chapter thing my comp is being annoying 


	5. Creamyness

Disclaimer: i own an evil puppy named Rooney i do not own any bishouen by the names of Duo, Heero, Trowa, Quatre or Wufei....or any people related to them in anyway whatsoever  
  
thanks to chiki, Riverunico, akurei and raine ty !  
  
who loves me enough to give me enough reviews to get up to 15? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?  
  
  
pretty please?  
  
  
with a cherry on top?  
  
no?.....ok then.....  
  
  
  
bee was upset not only were the house owners gold fish dead (causes were identified as overdose of nail varnish that was taken through the gills) but Raine, in her impending rage, has smeared cream all over her bedroom. This was a problem...and of course no one even wanted to think where the cream had come from or how it had got there or if it was even cream.....(an: MENTAL IMAGE MENTAL IMAGE! no more shaving foam please!) and had agreed with Link that it was a conspiricy against them.  
  
'Its a conspiracy against us' growled link smacking her fist into her palm for emphasis, the other merely nodded not daring to argue while she was like this.  
  
'i'm going to.....going to take my medication' murmured Akurei as ahe wandered out of the room  
  
'I didn't know she took any medication' blinked Link  
  
'She doesn't..... its a conspiracy' Gypsy added grinning  
  
'You'd better believe it' Raine chipped in still examining her hair for any damage caused by the cream. bee wandered in. hair and clothes messed up from her recent exertions in Raines room (an: no hentai minds!all of them are straight).  
  
'You lot are still up here?' she inquired  
  
'Yes why' asked Gypsy putting on an accent that matched her friends  
  
'cause i thought you'd all be downstairs in the pool with Akurei' she answered putting various cleaning items away.  
  
'AKUREI'S in the pool?!' and Gypsy tore down to get her friend closely followed by Link. Raine was stopped by bee and asked if she wanted to play some water polo later.  
  
'Sure , why not? I'll probably beat you'  
  
'Watch out Raine, you say that now but i'll cream 'ya!' bee shouted with laughter as her friends expression changed from humour to inexplicable fury and ran down the stairs jumping into the pool fully clothed to escape Raine's wrath.  
  
'BEE!' shouted Link as she was drenched from the flying water (yes water can fly...how do you think we get rain?) The answer to links shout was a muffled gurgle and it became a muffled scream when Raine jumped on her, also fully clothed.  
  
'who should we root for?' asked Gypsy  
  
'hmmm thats a toughie leave them to it and we'll get Akurei instead' smiled Link as they both bombed her  
  
#####################  
  
Trowa was Driving the porclain bus(1) and Heero wasn't doing much better he had managed to get down the stairs grab some aspirin and had lost conciousness on the way back up rolling down a flight of stairs to the third floor. The other pilots had smirked at the two quietest pilots obvious hangovers but even Duo was sympathetic when he saw how much they had drank..... and added it to what the drank on the plane.  
  
'Its always the quiet ones!' he had grinned to Quatre as they relaxed with the daily papers in the Lounge. Just before Wufei found the little suprise Duo had left in his bedroom....  
  
  
(1) you really wanna know what this means? ask someone who gets hangovers frequently or mention it in a REVIEW (hint hint lol) everyone say HI GYPSY! and go read her stories the same to Raine and Akurei and anyone else you see in blue on the review list!  
  
bee 


	6. arrangements, outings and why i love UV ...

Disclaimer: do i LOOK like i own it?  
  
  
ok now you probably don't wanna hear an apology......so i won't give you one! just read on.............  
  
  
'Bee!' shouted Raine as she tried to pin her friend under the water again 'Just apologise and i'll leave you!'  
  
'NEVER! gflkh.....' Akurei had since given up trying to fend off Gypsy and Link and the three were now sunning themselves inside the large conservatory whilst watching Raine try to strangle and drown bee.  
  
'Wassat?' asked Gypsy twitching her head around  
  
'Sounds like the phone, who wants to get it?' wondered Akurei, there was a large pause broken only by the ringing, raines curses and more drowning noises from bee. 'Guess i will then......  
Hello, Akurei speaking how may i help you?'  
  
'uhhhh hi, is bee there please?' Akurei glanced over to the pool 'She's a little busy right now.... would you like me to take a message?'  
  
'Ummm it was just to know how many are going to night'  
  
'Tonight?'  
  
'Ahhh you'd be one of her american friends right?'  
  
'yeah'  
  
'okay well she's planning to take you all out to a club called Infinity in Manchester, we're going to be on the guest list but we need to know how many are going.'  
  
'Right, well, theres me, gypsy, raine, link and bee'  
  
'Right that was all i needed, i'm claire by the way and i'll see you tonight.'  
  
the phone went dead. 'Uhhhhh Raine? You'd better stop strangling bee now, she'll want to be alive when we go out tonight.'  
  
'WHAT!'  
  
#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'#'##  
  
a similar WHAT was echoed about ...... five miles down the road by a red faced arabian.  
  
'Heero i absoloutley forbid it! We are not going to a house of ill reput! and you and trowa are STILL hungover!'  
  
'Q-man chill, infinity isn't a house of ill repute its a dance club where we can finally pay those girls back' duo gave an evil little chuckle then dove off down the hall as Wufei circled back with his Katana.  
  
'How did you find out about this anyway hee-chan?' asked Duo after Wufei went around on another lap thinking he was still chasing Duo.  
  
'We planted a bug in their phone' answered the wing pilot, looking a little worse for wear. Trowa nodded emphatically but on the second nod decided his head was about to fall off and clutched at it just to make sure.  
  
'Well we'd best go shopping to get some more suitable clothes hadn't we?' smiled Quatre as he dragged them all into his jeep and set off down the road singing along to Kiss Kiss.  
  
  
dun dun duhhhhhh the boys are going to a club where our girls will be and first they have to survive a trip to the mall..... will Trowa make it? will Heero lighten up? will Wufei go clubbing weraing anything whit? (don'tcha just love UV lighting? ^_^)  
bee 


	7. white trousers ^_^ and "wuffy-bear"

Disclaimer: look we all know i don't okay?  
  
  
"we're going clubbing, in club infinity, they have uv lighting... and raines wearing whiiiiiiiiiiiiiite!" sang bee tunelessly  
  
Raine went red and the other began to look nervous  
  
"THEY HAVE UV LIGHTING!?!" she screamed/exploded/wailed  
  
"yup!" smiled bee happily "cos the last time we went Claire forgot she was wearing white undermmmphfh" Claire had managed to slip her hand over bee's mouth and smiled at them  
  
"at least your not like that guy over there" she nodded towards a guy in white trousers with a blue top on " that'll go completley see-through"  
  
"uh-ohh" whispered Gypsy  
"crap" added Akurei  
"we're buggered" chipped in Link  
"Hey isn't that ...Wufei?" smiled Raine at bee, who widened her eyes and shook her head unable to get out of her friend claires grip.  
"Wufei...Whos he when he's at home?" asked bee's captor. Gypsy grinned unable too resist torturing her friend  
  
"well i think bee knows him better as Wuffy-bear"  
  
bee chose that moment to go red and start coughing making everyone in the cue turn around  
  
"damn?" she managed as the G-boys saw them "i'm thinking now would be a good time to go INSIDE!" they shot up to the bouncers who questioned them about their ages and double checked the guest list before letting them in.  
  
"mingle. mingle, mingle.....oh and everyone? don't forget to MINGLE!" shouted Akurei as she ran through the entrance hall everyone paused as they heard a faint cry of "onna" then re-doubled their efforts.  
  
"Gypsy? sweetie, darling, sugar? ever pull a stunt like that again and i WILL tell the newspapers that i digitally altered the photo of Heero and Duo and Heero is infact engaged to Relena" growled bee  
"o-okay"  
"soooooooo what we gonna do first?" asked Link  
"DANCE!" shouted Raine who was oblivious to her seethrough trousers  
  
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@  
  
"But we're on the Guest list" argued Quatre  
"sorry sir but i think....*click*" the bouncer stared down teh length of Heero's gun, heero wanted payback......  
"ahhhh yes sir i think these are your names right here!" he finished off smoothly and swallowed as the gun dissappeared again  
"the onna will die. the onna will die the onna will die" Wufei kept up the chant as he walked into teh building and was instantly surrounded by "onnas" who had been attracted to the white-now see through- trousers in the UV light.......  
  
hello this is voice mail for BEE who is currently BEING ATTACKED NY ROONEY ARRRRRRRRRRRGH so please leave a review and she will get back to you thank you bai bai! 


	8. walk this way talk this way....

Disclaimer: i own nothing, well apart from my rather strange mind... i met a reviewer! ^^ hi duo *waves* ^^   
  
  
  
  
'So like your totally single then?' a girl giggled into wufeis ear  
  
'WHAT! dishounorable onna!' he screamed back at her scanning the area for the onna that had pissed him off beyond belief with make-up tricks and was hiding somewhere in the crowds.  
  
THAT was when someone pinched his ass.  
  
'DISHONOUR!' he screamed and whipped around to see pilot 02 grinning at him 'MAXWELL!' he lunged forwards stopped by more girls that appeared from nowhere.  
  
'hey there cutie, where you going?' one of them grinned at him while another offered  
'hey i've lost my phone number, can i have yours?'  
'are you tired because you've been running through my head all day!'  
'GO AWAY! INDECENT ONNAS!'  
'cool it wu-man its the trousers that are attracting them' duo sniggered ' like moths to a flame'  
  
'Gypsy' quavered bee ' i see somone in white pants....'  
'well then lets walk that way'  
'......'  
Gypsy began to drag bee over towards her left and accidently banged into someone. Gypsy immediatly turned around and began to apologise profusley not seeming to notice bee frozen in terror with a horrified look on her face. The guy Gypsy was apologising to glared at bee  
'YOU!'  
'err err err i can explain i i i ...' bee stutteredinto silence and gripped Gypsys shoulder in a silent plea for help.  
'START EXPLAINING ONNA! and stop it with the freaky accent'  
That was when Akurei Raine and Link turned up collared by each of the pilots they had framed.  
'Yes. start explaining.' snarled Heero staring at the frozen girl  
' I hate to interrupt you in the midst of threatening my friend and all...... BUT' said Gypsy before turning to bee 'Bee could you let go of my arm sweetie? your cutting off the circulation'  
'mhh'  
'bee?'  
'mhh'  
'Heero you've scared the poor girl senseless' exclaimed Quatre 'why don't we go outside where it'll be easier to talk?'  
'fine' bit out the perfect shoulder as he dragged Akurei through teh dancing masses the others and Wufeis female admirers following them.  
  
'go away' hissed the dragon only making the girls titter and giggle more  
'ohhh a feisty one' one of them smirked edging closer  
'Maxwell how do i make them go away' Wufei snarled at his fellow pilot, thankfully Duo took pity on him and slung an arm around him smirking as Wufei froze  
'he's with me ladies' there was a collective "awwww" of dissappointment and then all sound was cut off as the girls were thrown into quatres "transportation" for questioning. after an extremly delayed reaction time bee sudden;y looked at Gypsy and said   
'You walked the wrong way!' the pilots shared confused glances while the girls sweatdropped. and bee refocused her eyes to wufei'why are you wearing white pants? they go see through in UV light you know!'  
  
^^ okies v v V belated chapter and thankies to the guys/girls in teh Yaoi manner chatroom for their chat up line suggestions 


	9. TAINTED AHHH EVIL EVIL EVIL!

Disclaimer: i own nothing *smile*  
  
okay....  
i talked to raine and decided to "come clean"...... the whole night club incident was based off real life... yes i did go to a club like that amd yes... my friend DID wear white trousers.....the one thing i did leave out was the whole podium dancing incident where my two friends Katie and Jenny managed to get up into a dancers cage and were chucked out of it by a bouncer........ then we played hide and seek on all three levels of the club ^_^  
  
-----------------------story time(again)----------------  
  
'So' said Duo 'You wanna start explaining the whole thing now or shall we wait until we get to Quatres?"  
  
'Where does Quatre live?' asked Link fluttering her eyelashes like mad  
  
'I live at Chatsworth house' replied Quatre, who was driving.  
  
'You LIVE in Chatsworth? but its HUGE! and ESXPENSIVE and.... nevermind' sighed bee as she zoned out and placed her forehead against the window watching the lights flicker past.  
  
'Why did you do THAT to us?' snarled Heero glaring at them, Raine shrugged  
  
'Why did you kiss back?' she replied smirking as a lovely rose tint spread across the perfect soldiers cheeks.  
  
'Heero! i never knew you had it in you' grinned Duo  
  
'I never knew he bent that way' muttered Akurei shifting positions so she was out of Raines striking distance.  
  
'Your deviating again. Stop dodging our questions why did you take incriminatins photos of us and sell them to tha tabloids?'  
  
'OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!' shreiked Gypsy staring at Trowa in amazement.  
  
'You dodged the question. Again.'  
  
'Oh my, i think i'm going into shock' murmured Akurei, fanning herself with one hand.  
  
'Getting a little hot Akurei?' smirked Raine pleased to get her own back.  
  
'Its getting hot in here so take of all your clothes....'  
  
the occupants of the, for want of a better word, truck, turned to the tenth member of the group who had zoned out and was now looking at wufei in a very zombi like way.  
  
'ONNA!' growled Wufei 'I do not do such indecent things!' Gypsy burst out into giggles soon followed by Link, Raine and Akurei. SHe then waved her hand infront of bee's face which seemed to have no effect. Raine grinned  
  
'Here let me try, OH MY GOD BEE! WUFEI'S TAKEN HIS CLOTHES OFF!' this had slightly more than the desired effect, bee promptly screamed and flung her hands over her eyes chanting something about her purity being tainted forever. Wufei looked startled then huffed and crossed his arms choosing to ignore the comments as Duo had a small coughing fit behind Heero's shoulder.  
  
'We're here!' sang out Quatre as he turned off the Engine and looked around 'What?' he asked as everyone stared at him' Is there something on my face?'  
  
  
  
*rocks back and forth* tainted-ness evil wufei evil evil pictures..... *bounces back up* read review and i might send you some of the chibi gundam wing characters i've been drawing with chibi me snapping photos ^_^ 


	10. Darjeeling tastes icky and wufei uses lo...

Disclaimer: no i don't own them *yawn*  
  
meh i updated and dragongirl thank you for reviewing me ^^ same goes for everyone else *yawn* so tired... stupid goddamn offstead inspection -_-;  
  
in honour of Miles: there is no way in hell i'd go out with you... ever  
ever ever  
so there  
hah!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~story time~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Gypsy smiled sweetly and shoved the door open  
  
'Right! lets get moving everyone in the house now.' the Gundam pilots blinked and filed out of the car followed by three of the girls. Raine stopped and sighed before crouching down next to the door and coaxing bee out.  
  
'It's okay,c'mon he's fully dressed' there was a small whimper before Raine scowled and bodily hauled bee out of the car. after Quatre had handed his "car" to one of his may loyal faithful servants, the pilots and their "guests" trooped up to the back door of the huge mansion and made their way to the familys main living quarters.  
  
'Tea?' questioned Quatre, raising his eyebrows at them  
'No thankyou'  
'No thanks'  
'No Q-man, Can't stand the stuff'  
'Tea, Denied'  
'Tea is for Weakling Onna's'  
'No thankyou Quatre'  
'No thankies i prefer coffee!' Raine rolled her eyes at Link before replying  
'No thankyou'  
'Yes Please, white with two sugars' the authoresses turned to look at bee  
  
'But you HATE tea!' said Gypsy ' Your always going on about how much you can't stand it!' Quatre ignored them all and carried on with his little tea making ceremony in the background. bee sighed  
  
'Look, its considered impolite to refuse Tea at someones house especially in Ireland, there is almost an insult to refuse it'  
  
'But, bee, sweetie? in case you hadn't noticed this is England, not Ireland'  
  
'Yesssss BUT its still classed as good manners' bee smiled as Quatre handed her the tea, she took a sip and forced a smile 'Darjeeling?' she asked Quatre  
  
'Yes! however did you guess?' he smiled and clapped his hands together while the other pilots wondered how the frigging hell she could stand the awful stuff they had been subjected to each time they came. bee gave a slight cough and placed the teacup and saucer down on the table as she sat down on the sofa and crossed her legs, the other girls following suit.  
  
'its the taste, its very uhhhhh distinct.....' Gypsy grinned at her friend as the pilots remained standing behind Quatres sofa, whilst Raine stage whispered to Akurei and Link  
  
'Look they're trying to psych us out! should we pretend to be afraid?' all three girls dissolved into giggles and began whispering about what they remembered from the last time they had had fun with the pilots. Gypsy and bee soon joined in trying to keep straight faces whilst anger veins began to pop up on the pilots foreheads.  
  
Then someone mentioned Wufei...   
  
bee went sheet white and gripped Raines arm as Wufei blinked and began to process this new information  
  
'You. Did. That. To. Me?'  
  
bee cowered back into the cushions as the others stopped giggling and sat up to watch their friends fate. bee meeped  
  
'No' Wufei glared at her  
  
'If the Onna Raine had Yuy..'  
'Who are you calling an ONNA!' Raine went to get up but was dragged back down by Link.  
'... The Akurei girl had Maxwell...'  
'I never had him! thats a lie!' (AN:hentai minds please note no she did not have him she *seduced* him....with a doughnut)  
' Onna Link had Barton and Tollamer had Winner that leaves you....'  
  
bee's eyes widen as Wufei stepped forward. before anyone could react she and jumped up and managed to vault the back of the sofa and was running for her life. Wufei's instincts kicked in and he gave chase oblivious to the fact that   
A; bee was a weak onna and he didn't fight weak onna's and  
B; she knew this place better than him  
  
Link blinked  
'What do you think he'll do to her when he catches her?'  
  
'Kiss her ^_^' everyone sweatdropped at Quatres statement and Duo burst out laughing Raine soon joined in  
'don't you guys remember?' she asked just after she came in looking like the Tooth Fairy i told her we'd given her what she wanted' Raine burst out Laughing again as she and Akurei both chimed out  
'Wufei!'  
  
  
a scream was heard from somewhere in the corridors....  
'FUCK OFF YOU STUPID STUPID SERVANT NO I DON'T WANT ANY TOWELS FOR GODS SAKE I'M RUNNING AWAY FROM S PISSED OFF MARTIAL ARTIST!'  
  
the servant stood stunned as master Quatres female guest took off again down the corridor and murmured to himself  
'sheesh some people have no manners'  
  
  
  
  
okay nice long long storyi want ohh lets make this easy and say 5 reviews for the next chapter? please?  
pretty please?  
THANKIES! ^_^ 


	11. I am a refined young lady, I AM a refine...

Disclaimer: mhhh cheese tortelini.. BUT enough about my dinner (i burnt my lip owwies!) no i don't own any type of mechanical robot/mecha or its pilots... shame.... then i could have had someone to beat up that irritating lad at the prom..... meh  
  
  
bee: So...  
Gypsy: so.  
Raine: SO  
Akurei: so...  
bee: fine i'll write another goddamn fricking chapter but only because the nice people reviewed me! eg  
Ambiez no Heki  
Dragongirl  
juliemoonstar  
Angeldust   
and of course Gypsy  
  
Gypsy: can we just point out if you do admit to reading this story  
bee: BY REVIEWING!  
Gypsy: yes by revieing bee will actually write the laptop AND write more chapters and i won't have to use my egg-beater of death...... again  
bee: *whispers*she beats me with it please help  
Raine & Akurei: heh heh heh *hold up more egg beaters*  
bee: NOOOOO MY HAIR!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Wufei knocked the poor servant (who's name is Dave for anyone who's wondering) out of the way as he went after the idiot onna, the girl with the freaky accent   
or   
as most of us know her  
bee  
And so far he wasn't catching up to her which made the little anger vein on his forehead pulse even more  
  
  
bee was hiding in a darkened room... (although you'd of thought she'd learned her lesson about doing that after the incident with Trowa in his underwear and a very pissed of Quatre.. but we'll say she hasn't because it makes the story more intresting for you lot.)  
She got up after hearing Wufei scream past and began to inspect the walls, and found, much to her suprise, a wardrobe.  
"A wardrobe!" she whispered making an obvious point " gosh! maybe i could find a disguise in it and escape the dastardly Wufei Chang by appearing as one of Quatres many sisters.. and ohmyfuckingGOD i sound like a freaking super heroine from barbie....or was that penelope pitstop? meh they both like pink and i really should stop talking to myself because its a bad thing..."  
She opened the wardrobe and to her amusement found Quatres sisters dresses...  
"hah bloody hah, fate loves me, fate wants to kiss me, i am fates play thing " she sang softly as she squeezed into a Romerfella type dress. Before opening the door pinning her hair up and walking out pretending to be one of Quatres sisters.  
  
The others were getting aquainted well Quatre was making an effort to get aquainted, Duo was glaring at Akurei, Trowa was giving link one-eyed evils (BAKA HENTAIS! no!) and Heero was staring at Raine in a slightly psychotic manner. Gypsy was explaining the wonders of Coffee to Quatre, when Wufei burst in  
  
'THE BAKA ONNAS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!'   
  
'well then maybe you didn't look hard enough' replied Raine from her place on the floor  
  
'SHIT HEAD! AHAHAHAHA RAINES A SHIT HEAD!' screamed Link  
  
'fuck you' came the calm reply as she dealt out the cards again  
  
'hows about a game of Bullshit?' inquired Akurei as she passed the cards back to Raine  
  
'EXCUSE ME!' snarled a very pissed off Wufei 'BUT your baka onna friend is missing don't you care?'  
  
'Nope, why do you?' asked Gypsy with Quatre giving Wufei a knowing stare in the background  
  
'NO!'  
  
'Ohayoo people!' chirruped a distinguished looking young woman as she glided into the room  
  
'hi bee, nice outfit is it especially for Wufei?'  
  
'That bastard?' she said asked wrinkling her nose, totally oblivious to the fact said bastard was in the room with her ' not on your life even the thought of him..... nope i may be imaginative but even my imagination doesn't want to go there'  
  
Quatre started to giggle followed by the girls and Duo, bee blinked, turned around, screamed and shot through the double doors at the end with Wufei hot on her heels.  
There was a crash   
A whimper  
the sound of Wufei cursing  
Then some material ripped  
  
Trowa opened the door a bit wider, although the light was stil off in that room they could hear what was being said more clearly  
'please don't kill me'  
  
'baka onna i'm not going to kill you!'  
  
'oh... please don't kiss me!' there was the same amount of desperation in bee's voice  
  
'Dishonour!.... what was it that ripped?'  
  
'uhhh...'  
  
there was now a small crowd of listners at the door and Duo deciding now was teh time to display his Godlike status gave a cry of  
'LET THERE BE LIGHT!' before flipping the light switch down to reveal a very intresting scene....  
  
  
you likey? you no likey? you tell me!! owwwies my burnt tounge hurts 


	12. Ripped clothing is all the fashionWHA?

Disclaimer: oh yeeeeeeeeees of COURSE i own it THATS why i'm writing fanFICTION! (¬.¬)  
  
  
Gypsy: hello again!  
bee: mph!  
Akurei: as you can see we've tied bee up so only her hands are free ^_^  
Raine: we think this will help her concentrate on writing her fics more   
bee: mphf!  
Juliemoonstar: but of course to help her focus there is always... the eggbeater of DEATH!  
*All four hold up eggbeaters and start twirling them*  
bee: *whimper*  
Gypsy: so please Review her you see if she gets five reviews she actually writes another chapter  
  
  
  
  
The room was Pink.  
It was the Pink or Barbie dolls, Penelope Pitstop and Ballerina's tutus.  
in short it was worth than the bathroom....  
  
But of course no one was really intrested in that, what was more intresting was that Wufei was kneeling next to bee clutching his head with one hand whilst the other was holding some material..  
bee went pale  
  
'OH MY GOD YOU HENTAI!' Wufei snatched at the air just in time to stop bee's hand from slapping his face. Then he realised why she was slapping him and looked at the material in his hand  
  
and subsequently had a nosebleed.  
  
Link started to giggle, folowed by Raine, Akurei and finally Gypsy whilst the Gundam boys carefully averted their eyes. bee's pale cheeks flushed as she tried to cover her chest, that was now missing most of its material, with her free hand. Wufei's nosebleed, once again resembling niagra falls (Why is it always Wufei that gets a nose bleed? it should be Quatre as he seems the shyest of them but maybe its because he grew up with 29 sisters?... NO I AM NOT DEFENDING WUFEI!) , caused him to pass out. As he toppled backwards bee pulled her hand away and stood up glaring at the assembled authors.  
  
'Its not funny you know!' ( but it is.. i think... gosh imagine how much she must be blushing i mean a guy just ripped your blouse off and fainted from bloodloss....nice )  
  
'okay bee if you insist its not funny it isn't!' Gypsy managed to control her giggles as bee fled the room then burst out giggling again and did the We-Have-Just-Got-To-Get-Those-Two-Together-Dance.  
  
'Kewl dance Gyps'  
  
'Thanks Raine you wanna see the I -am-so-great-dance?' Gyps demonstrated it for them all.  
  
Akurei sighed and wondered off on her own to find something more intresting to do after all who could take pleasure n watching Wufei basically bleed to death? (bee: ME ME ME! OHH I CAN! ME! PICK ME! *waves her hand around in the air*). So anyway Akurei wandered off intent on finding Duo's bedroom.... she meant the Bathroom... yeah she did want to go and rifle through his drawers (NO! not THOSE kind of drawers you perverted people! or his underwear drawers! just his desk drawers nothing else! ... atleast thats what i think she wanted...ack mind. gutter. badness).  
  
Duo who's carefully averted eyes (only after Quatre pointedly glared at him and lets face it Quatre glaring is freaky) had begun to wonder, noticed her and looking left and right (always remember your gren cross code! ( who said fics couldn't be educational?) stalked after her. 


	13. PINK its the colour of passion COZ TODAY...

Disclaimer: yeah whatever  
  
bee: *looks over the top of her glasses* When we last Left our dazzling authoress Akurei she was be pursused around Quatres vast mansion by none other than Duo the infamous Gundam Deathsycthe hell pilot....  
  
Akurei: nice intro  
  
gypsy: yeah!  
  
bee: well i do try occasionally!  
  
Raine: no she doesn't its because i threatened her with an   
eggbeater and gave her a muse!  
  
bee: *pets her plant* it has white flowers!  
  
  
  
  
Akurei was bored.  
bored bored bored bored bored.  
bored  
and Quatres house was really really really really ( i suggest you get a book out and read it she's gonna be saying really for a long time!)  
REALLY big. And somewhere there were kitchens... with chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream! So she bounced off to find them.  
  
Duo watches the one who had seduced him witha donghnut bounce away * ahhh my pretty you shall not seduce shinigami with a doughnut and get away with it!* he thought then began to cackle in an insane way ( is there any other way to do in?). Akurei peered back around the corner and gave Duo a concerned stare  
  
'Why are you cackling in an insane manner?'  
'heh heh heh... what? ohhh because .. because...'  
'yes?'  
'BECAUSE! Link and Quatre just started having an argument over who loves pink more'  
'meh it figures..'  
  
Akurei came around the corner properly and stared at him as though sizing him up. *mischevious, american and he can get away with pranks..... i feel a plan coming on!* she smiled sweetly at Duo.  
  
'Mr Maxwell i was wondering if you'd help me partake in a light jest?' Duo grinned  
  
'Why certainley Miss Difficile, the pleasure is allllll mine.'  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ( --- pretty pattern ^.^)  
  
  
'i like pink more'  
'no i like pink more'  
'nu uh!'  
'sorry but i'm afraid i do'  
  
It turned out that Duo's words had been phrophetic, in other words Quatre and link were arguing about who liked pink more. Meanwhile Gypsy was sat on the floor with Trowa and Heero who were taking it in turns to slap Wufei into conciousness again, while gypsy counted.  
#slap#  
'ninety one'  
#slap#  
'ninety two'  
#slap#  
'ninety three'  
#slap#  
'ninety...'  
'OW WEAK DISHONOUREABLE BEINGS!'  
'hey he woke up!' Gypsy giggled and blinked as Trowa frowned then glanced at Heero, who punched Wufei in the nose (yey random violence -.-)  
#slap#  
'one'  
#slap#  
'two'  
#slap#  
  
bee  
helpmemygranandunclearecomingupandihavetosharearoomwithmysister..... 


	14. Wo sind die klein fische? Ou est le peti...

Disclaimer: please don't beat me i don't own it *cries*  
  
bee: ok... i know i should be writing the laptop but this story is calling to me its saying "you neglected me! i hate you love me! make me more intresting!!" so i feel compelled to besides *glances behind her and whispers* gypsy has the egg beater of death...  
  
*julie, link, akurei and gypsy all hold up eggbeaters*  
  
bee: *whimpers and starts speed typing* must stay alive til leavers ball.... o.o  
Trowa and Heero poked Wufei with the fire irons.  
  
'Trowa should you be doing that?'  
'........'  
'oh, ok then could you possibly fetch a towel, he's bleeding on the floor'  
'....,.......!.......!?!.... .......?'  
'well i don't really know how to reply to that...'  
'....'  
  
there was a soft sigh as trowa wheeled round and went to fetch a towel. Gypsy and Raine shared a glance, Raine shrugged and raised her eyebrows at Gypsy telling her not to pursue it.  
  
'Raine?'  
'Yes Gyps?'  
'should we go find bee? she seemed a wee bit upset....'  
'you want to mess around with an upset psycho english girl?'  
'good point, hey Quatre, do you have any tranquilizer darts and a gun?'  
'Yes'  
'you do?  
' Yes Miss Tollamer i do'  
'*sigh* if only you'd say that in a church..... oh i mean why?'  
'*blink blink* because when Duo has coffee he goes mad'  
'.... my life is strange'  
'Why do you say that Raine?'  
'Because Gypsy, we are in the middle of a bloody massive english mansion in the middle of the english country side and its bloody raining!'  
'And your speaking like a bloody native'  
  
the three turn around to see bee wearing her clubbing clothes once again her hair slightly mussed up and her hands behind her head duo style. Gypsy grinned and glomped bee  
  
'you got some!'  
'whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?!?!?!?!'  
  
Raine sighed and turned back to watching Heero and Trowa take turns with the poker. she knelt down next to Heero and grabbed his hands as Trowa passed the poker back, readjusting his grip and tilting the poker to a different angle.  
  
'why?'  
'Optimum pain level. Hit him a little harder and slightly to the left'  
' 'k'  
  
Heero complied and passed the poker back to trowa as wufei twitched and gave a moan of pain.  
  
'he's waking up again' Raine clasped her hands to her chest ' can i knock him out? ohhh can i can i can i pleeeease!?'  
  
Heero and Trowa blinked before Trowa responded  
  
'sure knock yourself out.'  
'yey!'  
  
*THUMP* Rainne grabbed wufeis shoulder preforming the sleeper grip and smiling as the twitching and moaning stopped.  
  
'How high did you get with the slapping?'  
'ninety three/fourish... Why think you can do better?'  
'that sounds like a wager to me!'  
#slap#  
'one'  
#slap#  
'two'  
#slap#  
'bee! your not meant to be hitting your boyfriend!'  
#slap, slap#  
'ow! hey! that hurt!'  
#smack, slap#  
'i'm sorry he's not your boyfriend?'  
#glare, smack, slap#  
'ITAI, ok definetly not your boyfriend' 


End file.
